Our West Coast tour was awesome! Thanks to everyone who came out to see us! Here's how it all went down.
Friday, April 7th
Leave for Los Angeles. In the airport we get in a fight over who’s sitting where on the plane and over the rules for the game Uno. Things are off to a great start. We get in really late and spend the night in North Hollywood at our friend Ursula’s, who fronts the band Atomic Bitch.
Saturday, April 8th, Lava Lounge, Los Angeles
Our first (and hopefully last) show in a strip mall. The club is cool, but literally sandwiched between a Chinese restaurant and a Laundromat. We’re on last, after a bunch of instrumental surf bands. We expect everyone to leave, but they all stick around, and by the end of the night we’ve made some new fans. Plus, our crowd is pretty good, so the club is packed and we rock it. Our first show and it’s awesome.
Sunday, April 9th, Knitting Factory, Los Angeles
The place is huge, at least five times bigger than the Lava Lounge. First up is Pinkslip, who rock nicely, then Zach Steel, who we think are an ironic deconstruction of cheesy 80’s cock rock. Then it’s us, and again we rule the stage. One of our best shows to date. After come the Binges, composed of two skinny Cali boys and a kickass Japanese sister team on bass and guitar, and then Atomic Bitch, who fill the stage with craziness and manic energy. After the show we have a little party, where Yelena takes the rockstar life a little too far and almost passes out in the bathroom. Luckily, Rusty is able to revive her with some kama sutra and yoga tricks. Fortunately, we all end the night in one piece.
Monday, April 10th
Drive to San Francisco. Lots of driving and eating and stuff. Fascinating.
Tuesday, April 11th, Studio Z, San Francisco
When we arrive we find out that instead of three bands, it’s seven, the first of which is on the stage. We all agree that it’s the worst band ever, but the next band is our friends the Sweet Nothings, who rock. They end with a cover of Eye of the Tiger, which is awesome because we’re explicitly told not to play covers for some reason. We’re itching to play our cover of Like a Prayer, but our set runs long and we don’t have time. But even without it, it’s another sick show. The energy level is intense, and the crowd is totally into it. Even the organizers, who at first were a little standoffish, and are now our biggest fans, and dub us “the greatest band ever.” Hurray.
Wednesday, April 12th, Thee Parkside, San Francisco
The run of good luck had to end sometime. We’re told we’re going on at 12, not at 10, and so several people have to leave before they can see us. We try to switch with the first band, D’Jelly Brains, who we booked, but they won’t do it. Even just asking them to do this makes them furious, which is weird, because they’ve brought no one to the club, while we’ve packed the place. Plus, they totally suck. When we finally go on, after a shitty DJ who plays “OPP” and “Killing in the Name of,” the set is a little off. The sound sucks, and every time Rusty puts his lips to the mic he gets electrocuted. The crowd is into it, but it’s far from a great show. Plus, Thee Parkside totally screws us on our money. Don’t ever, ever go there. They suck ass. The only good news is that Rex gets lucky.
Thursday, April 13th
A day off. Rusty and Yelena buy cool clothes and shoes and look at art, while Slater! and Rex are sick on the couch and do nothing. Except that Rex actually goes to visit his mom, who’s also sick. Boo-hoo!
Friday, April 14th, Lunar Lander Warehouse Party, San Francisco
Tonight we turn it around. Even though we’re on early, the crowd is supportive and we whip everyone into a frenzy. All the bad luck from the other night is erased, and it’s another stellar show. Later there are fire-spinners, stilt-walkers and an assortment of freaks that only San Francisco can provide. A great party all-around.
Saturday, April 15th
Drive to Portland. Lots of driving and eating and gas-getting. We get in around midnight and have dinner at Dots, the best restaurant/bar in town. Exciting stuff!
Sunday, April 16th, Ash Street Saloon, Portland
We’re on first, and play to a handful of friends and the other bands. Our first show without much of a crowd, and while it’s solid, the energy level is a little low. Next up are the Del Toros, who are young and full of promise, and then our fellow Brooklynites the Assualt, three hot chicks who are a little more style than substance. Rounding out the bill is Cootie Platoon, who we instantly love, and are on the bill with us tomorrow night. Later in the evening, Mucous Cradle, Pretty Flowers' evil side project, has its first rehearsal in a Beaverton hotel room. Future hits include "Diet Cock" and "Feminine Deodorant Spray."
Monday, April 17th, IWW Hall, Portland
Not even a proper concert hall, more of a room, and not even a large one. Plus, we have to set up everything – mics, pa – ourselves. But everything turns out great, due mainly to the bands. First up are the Peabodys, who play incredible pop-punk, like Green Day but smarter. Next comes the Phantom Power Ninja Clan, who we all decide are the greatest band ever. Actually, they’re more performance artists than a band, spending more time fighting each other than playing songs. They’re led by this girl named Tera, a quiet sprite off-stage, who on-stage is a fucking whirlwind of energy and sex appeal. Following the Ninja’s lead, we take the stage/floor, and put on a riotous performance. We’re back at the top of our game, and it’s another of our best ever shows. Rounding out the night is Cootie Platoon, who play an amazing but ultra-short set because of a broken bass string and because the place is closing. They’re great people and a great band, and we wish them all the best.
Tuesday, April 18th
Drive to Seattle. Check out all the neighborhoods and get a hotel in downtown. Accidentally find a bar behind a Chinese restaurant called the Jade Pagoda, which is a hidden gem. They have Billy Joel’s greatest hits on the jukebox, and Rusty plays “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant,” which he’s always talking about because he’s choreographed an interpretive dance for it. Egged on by the rest of the band, he performs the dance for the entire bar. It goes on for like 15 minutes and is fucking hysterical. Much of the animosity he’s built up (he can be kind of a dick) is erased.
Wednesday, April 19th, The Funhouse, Seattle
Seattle’s oldest punk club, mere feet from the Space Needle. Speaking of which, did you know they don’t make Space Needle hats? We tried to buy some for the show and they don’t exist. First up are the Snot Rockettes, who are super-young (their guitarist is 15!) and cute, except for their singer, who in comparison looks to be forty. She’s also kind of a bitch. Next is a band whose name I forget and who are so loud and sweaty they drive everyone away. Thanks guys! So when we go on the place is not exactly packed. Also, we’re not allowed to do much with the equipment we’re borrowing, so our sound isn’t great. But the show goes pretty well. Last up is Alabaster, comprised of two dudes and three women in multi-colored faux-hawks, who play hard, melodic rock that borders on emo. It’s rock and roll for girls who like other girls, and it’s solid and fun. After much drinking, flirting and some puking (by others, not us) the night comes to an end.
Thursday, April 20th
Another day off. We go to the Jimi Hendrix museum where you can play instruments and sing and make recordings and do basically what we do all the time. But it’s fun and we get really retarded. Later we play video games and go see a movie. How rock ‘n roll!
Friday, April 21st, The L.A.B. (Seattle Drum School), Seattle
First band has a big draw but they really suck. It’s like a bad Rage Against the Machine by guys in tanktops with gelled hair. We’re next, and while the show is solid, with an actual professional doing the mix, it’s a tad anti-climactic, it being our last show and most of the crowd has left. Last band is Lake of Falcons, who play tight, clever hardcore, and they’re amazing. Not the greatest night to end on, but overall a decent show and a good time.
Saturday, April 22nd
Last day in Seattle. Slater!, Rex and Yelena start drinking at noon, while Rusty goes to the zoo. Later there’s more drinking, then eating, then packing. We have to catch an 8:00 am flight, which sucks ass.
Sunday, April 23rd
After a few hours sleep, on the way to the airport Rex almost shits his pants. In solidarity, Rusty farts through much of the flight. Perhaps in retaliation, after landing in New York he finds out that the transportation authority has mangled his bass case, bastards! When we get in, everyone is tired and simultaneously glad to be home but sad it’s over. All in all, an amazing tour. We made some great friends and some incredible memories. Next time will be even better. If you came out to see us, thank you. If you lived in once of these cities and didn’t, you suck. But it’s cool. Just come next time. Because we’ll be back. Thanks for everything.
xoxoxoxo
Yelena, Rusty, Slater! + Rex
